To date or not to date? Question answered

Okay, straight to the point. Dating costs money, whether we accept it or not.

A lady might be the cool-headed type and not make demands in a relationship, but in the long run, the guy, if he truly cherishes her, will be obligated to make her happy, probably get her little gifts once in a while, take her out for dinner and movies and occasionally top up her phone airtime, not to talk of the regular calls he’s bound to be making to maintain the romantic connection.

By and large, all these little expenses add up and cost money. Money that, for the most part, isn’t available.

If the guy doesn’t have the wherewithal to fulfill these little obligations, she might not overtly complain, but it’s surely going to impact negatively on his self-esteem, and ultimately, on the relationship.

Most guys, especially the unemployed/underemployed and students, are perennially broke, especially under this buharinomics . Forget the social media-influenced flashy exterior we see on here.

Deep down, they know they won’t be able to match their pockets with their online flash-in-the-pan charm. So, instead of allowing their delicate ego be battered by “see finish”, they’d rather skirt around the dating game, choosing to stay non-committal in the long run.

Ever wondered why most guys these days repeatedly see a girl beam the greenlight and they repeatedly ignore the greenlight? Mind you, that guy ain’t that dense. He knows he’s expected to react positively, but his bank account is saying otherwise. He’ll rather jejely respect himself and stay on his lane.

Even that charming guy who got your number two months ago but has failed to call. Or the one who actually called but has repeatedly failed to honour the “let’s hangout one of these days” hookups he’s always proposed? Both guys probably fully understand what happens when that dating process is kick-started.

It’s a downward slide. He’ll rather stay on his own with his reps and self-esteem intact than go through the process of suffering another person’s daughter unduly and end up battering his carefully crafted image.

Most often, the only time he’ll try his hands on the dating game is when he happens to come into some errant money. Then, with newfound confidence, he’ll feel the urge to h00k up and try a few dates. Trust me, don’t get carried away, baby, because that sudden interest is seasonal, and, once the small cash dries off, Bobby will go back to his usual self, leaving you high and dry, wondering if you’re still in a relationship or not.

Truth is, except it’s in a long-term, mature relationship, it’s sometimes hard for most men to disclose or be plain about their true broken financial state to a crush or new date and still manage to keep their self-esteem intact. By definition, men always like being in charge and that entails being seen as financially capable in a relationship. Once they’ve lost that sense of financial capability, you see them start acting like neon lights, blinking in and out of the relationship.

Even when the lady tries to understand, it still doesn’t change the fact that, deep down, he’s starting to feel insecure and less of a man. He’ll rather opt out and be left alone that subject another person, and himself, to unnecessary poverty-induced situationship.

So ladies, when next you see that guy you’ve been greenlighting forever, still fooling around, seemingly not getting the subtle message you’re sending, don’t think he doesn’t like you or not interested in a relationship with you. Chances are he is, but his brokenness just won’t allow him to be great. He knows that, in the long run, without the necessary financial muscle to pull his weight around, he’ll feel emasculated.

No guy wants to be caught up in that situation. None.

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